Getting Your Message Across to the Person You Love
The Problem
One of the biggest problems in couples communication is separating tone, attitude, provocation, and other aspects of the way a message is delivered from the intention of the message itself. When we are frustrated, disappointed, hurt, or otherwise in emotional pain those feelings color both the words that we use and especially the non-verbals with which we convey those words.
Akshay has just gotten home late from work and his girlfriend Kanika wastes no time getting into a stock argument about his being too involved in his work and her being too involved in home. The genders could be reversed or it could be a same-sex couple, and the specifics of “too involved in work” or “to involved at home” could take any number of forms, but this kind of argument happens all the time. It can go something like this:
Akshay comes through the door.
Kanika (irritated tone): You were supposed to be home an hour ago!
Akshay (sar…