Attachment in relationships
Do you tend to think you should be self-sufficient? Do you trust too much? Do you swing between trusting too much and too little? Welcome to the wacky world of attachment! If you find relationships confusing (and who doesn’t at times!) understanding attachment can help you make sense of things, and possibly improve your relationship.
Generally, I try to write in as natural language as possible, keeping the jargon to a minimum. However, this part will get slightly more technical because the terms help put a handle on things. And actually, the terms I’ll be using are pretty digestible anyway. Especially once you understand them. So let’s plunge in.
“Attachment” refers originally to the degree of secure connection a baby feels to its primary parental figures. In a previous story (Trust vs. Threat) I mentioned how we each have a kind of baseline trust, or security. This baseline is founded on the quality of attachment we had as infants. Whatever degree of trust or…